Monday, July 10, 2006

《時時刻刻》Michael Cunningham

p.43
她仍然深愛這個世界的粗野與無可摧毀,她知道其他人一定也喜歡,貧富皆然,雖然沒有人能說出確切原因。要不然我們何必永無止境地去折衷妥協,不管受到什麼傷害,仍會掙扎著活下去?

p.75
一陣感覺如波浪般襲來,一股巨浪,由她胸口湧現,使她漂浮,緩緩漂流,彷彿她是一隻海中生物,擱淺於沙灘後被沖回海中--彷彿她由一個極重的引力中回到她真正的生存環境內,鹽水的漲潮落潮,無重量的浩瀚大海。

p.146-147
她領悟到,她的全部悲傷與孤寂,所有吱嘎作響的桎梏,全都是源於假裝要與這些物品,及親切又緊張的莎莉一起同住在這座寓所內。如果她離開了,她會很快樂,或者不只是快樂,她會找回本我。

p.153
而它完美的原因之一就是在當時,它似乎那麼明確地許諾了未來還會有更多。

p.221
不用再恐懼陽光的炙熱,
也不用恐懼冬季的酷寒。
  ~《戴洛維夫人》

p.297
那或許像走入一片耀眼的雪地裡,既可怕又好玩。我們以為她的悲傷很平常,我們想不透。

p.323
是的,克勞麗莎想著,是該結束這一天的時候了。我們舉行宴會,我們拋棄家庭獨自住在加拿大,我們埋首寫作,儘管我們才氣縱橫,而且嘔心瀝血,抱著殷切的期望,但那些書仍無法改變世界。我們過我們的生活,做我們所做的,然後我們就寢--就那麼單純又平凡。有少數人跳樓或投水或服安眠藥,更多人死於非命;我們大部份人,絕大多數,都是緩緩被某種疾病吞噬,或者,如果我們吉人天相,就能壽終正寢。只有這可供慰藉:當成功的機會渺茫,前程黯淡時,偶爾會出現一個小時,使我們的生活似乎柳暗花明,讓我們心想事成,雖然除了兒童(或許即使是兒童)之外每個人都知道,這些時間之後無法避免的會是其他更黑暗也更艱困的時間。然而,我們珍惜這座城市,清晨;我們最期盼的,是能有更多收穫。
只有天知道我們為什麼那麼喜愛它。

Yes, Clarissa thinks, it’s time for the day to be over. We throw our parties; we abandon our families to live alone in Canada; we struggle to write books that do not change the world, despite our gifts and unstinting efforts, our most extravagant hopes. We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep — it’s as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out of windows or drown themselves or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease or, if we’re very fortunate, by time itself. There’s just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we’ve ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitabily be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more.
Heaven only knows why we love it so.

Here, then, is the party, still laid; here are the flowers, still fresh; everything ready for the guests, who have turned out to be only four. Forgive us, Richard. It is, in fact , a party, after all. It is a party for the not-yet-dead; for the relatively un-damaged; for those who for mysterious reasons have the fortune to be alive.
那麼,這就是那場宴會囉,照常舉行。這是花朵,依然新鮮,一切皆已就緒,只等賓客蒞臨,總共只有四人。原諒我們,理察。事實上,這畢竟是一場宴會。是為尚未過世者舉行的宴會,為比較未受傷害的人舉辦的,為這些基於神祕的理由幸運得以存活的人所舉辦的。

It is, in fact, great good fortune.
事實上,那是天大的福分。

--
I remember one morning, getting up at dawn, there was such sense of possibility, you know that feeling? And I remember thinking myself, “So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there would be more.” It never occured to me that it wasn’t the beginning. It was the happiness. It was the moment. Right then.

我記得一天早上,黎明的時候起來,有一種充滿可能的感覺…你有那種感覺過嗎?我記得自己這樣想著,「所以,這就是幸福的開始囉。毫無疑問地,還有更多的幸福在後面。」我從來沒有想到那根本不是幸福的開始。那就是幸福本身。就是那個時刻,那一分那一秒。

--
時時刻刻 The hours
作者:麥可‧康寧漢 Michael Cunningham
譯者:蔡憫生
出版社:希代
出版日期:2003年2月
ISBN:9578119674

No comments: